Sunday, 19 May 2013

Women in the Corporate Jungle #2

This post follows an earlier post that you can find here.

From the endless variety of females at the firm, I present you some more who stand out due to their deviation from the general trend:-

Exhibit - 6 (The Loudmouth):

Not to be confused with the "bigmouth", lady-loudmouth has a decibel limit of no less than 100. She could crack the champagne flute you're holding just by calling out your name. She'll make sure you flinch once every 2 minutes (while you pore over some serious work-related document) as she makes light conversation with every random colleague who passes her desk. But you haven't seen anything till you've heard her laugh! It's like a thunderstorm that'll make you run for cover.

Exhibit - 7 (The Weight-Watcher): 

She's one of the skinniest girls at work but she just HAS to lose that stubborn bit of fat! She will avoid sweets, chocolates and cakes at all costs, even if it's her own birthday! She will skip breakfast AND lunch because you made her eat at the last team-outing. She will also walk a mile (in her towering heels!!) around your office building in the scorching heat of the afternoon so she can burn the previous night's dinner. It's no wonder then that you fail to notice she's around, what with her needle-thin frame that threatens to vanish!

Exhibit - 8 (The Laundry-Service):

She likes to wash her linen (dirty or otherwise) in public. She will wear you out with the endless stories of how her house-help ditched her right before the mid-year gala; or how her son decided to fall sick just before their trip to Mauritius, resulting in steep cancellation charges; or how her anti-hair-fall shampoo is stripping her hair of all moisture. You will notice she shares some traits with 'Lady-Loudmouth' as you hear her scream (over the phone) at the travel agent for booking her a room with a mountain-view and not valley-view.

Exhibit - 9 (The Freeloader):

She is the ultimate opportunist- the first to run to the London-return's desk so she can grab all the foreign chocolates; she sits near the food counter at monthly townhalls so she can snatch the samosas and tea before the others get there; she eats the biggest piece of cake at every birthday/success/farewell celebration. She volunteers at CSR events so she can collect the company-branded T-shirt and get clicked at photo-ops. And she will NEVER forget to pocket all the coloured pens and notepads that are handed out at training sessions. (And you wondered what she kept in that big bag of hers!)

Exhibit - 10 (The Full Plate):

She should be the poster-girl for blow-your-own-trumpet. She will grovel about how much work she's done and show you her choc-a-bloc calendar. (How does she have more meetings than my Department Head?!) She will also work till late so it looks like she's slugging-it-out. (Seriously, if you were efficient, you'd have finished all your work within the regular office timings!) All your conversations with her will be punctuated with heaves & sighs as she never fails to mention what she's been breaking her back over. With the lady who has too much on her plate to take on anything new, it's hard to tell whether she's really busy or just faffing. What she needs is a class on time-management and the art of saying "no".

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With this post, I will stop labelling women. All the 10 exhibits were meant to be taken with a pinch of salt and I know the ladies at my office are mature enough to take it in their stride. (OK. Even I am laughing at this one! Honestly, who am I kidding!) Anyhow, the next set of posts will showcase some nice people and interesting situations that are unique to the corporate world.

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